Avoid Imagining the Worst
What if it doesn't happen?
by Phillip Day

Some of us imprison ourselves daily with the fear of the unknown, of wretched things that might befall us. Perhaps a situation we've watched develop for some time, its direst outcome now jerking us awake in the small hours, heart thumping, brow bursting forth in a cold sweat.

Few of the techniques described in Simple Changes work as well as the firm belief the universe is generally working for our benefit if only we can get out of the bed in the morning. Most of us own up to a strong sense that life appears to be some sort of learning experience, that there is a point to it all. Clad in our four-dimensional physicality, certainly, we have little choice but to experience it. And regrettably we do live in a fallen world, wherein dire things happen all the time - wars, accidents, financial woes, illness, death. And some of these will show up on our doorstep at some point, unbidden, unwelcome, to be our choice and character in determining how best we will deal with them.

I believe in taking prudent, non-obsessive steps to prepare for the worst. Having thus taken action, what I won't do is perish the death of a thousand cuts, torturing myself over what might happen. Worrying implies the steps I have taken will not be sufficient. So I worry, in spite of the fact that having taken action, matters are now beyond my ability to control them.

What if? What if? What if?

Worrying is a survival response to hone our reactions to danger. Chronic worry corrupts our most precious resource, which is time. Chronic worry is the result of repetitive conditioning, but you'll be pleased to learn the old squashola can be educated back into conforming to a more 'damn-the-torpedoes' attitude to ride out the storms. Let's find out how.

Facing Your Mountains - Worry
Do not dwell on impromptu evil imaginings. You can't stop the birds flying over your head, you can stop them nesting in your hair. The best way over mountains is one rock at a time. The best advice about mountains is to face them. Mountains cause worry. But not if you overcome them. Be an overcomer.

· If something about me needs changing, I need to change it
· I stopped overcoming
· Time for me to overcome

Things You Can Do Something About
Divide a sheet of paper vertically down the middle with a line. On the left, write down all the things that worry you which you CAN do something about. On the right, list all the things that worry you which you CANNOT do anything about.

Rank the left-hand column in descending order of bother, i.e. the most worrisome problem at the top. Do the same with the right-hand column of worries you can do nothing about.

· You are now staring at your mountains
· You have an order of worries to tackle, commencing with the most worrying
· Worry caused by the problems you can do something about will diminish ONCE YOU TAKE ACTION
· Imagine each problem resolved and how you will feel about that
· Imagine the relief/pleasure you will gain by overcoming
· Dwell on the peace of mind gained by overcoming
· Imagine the continued pain/anxiety of not overcoming
· List out the steps required to overcome the problem
· How badly do you want to conquer the problem?
· Now take action, focusing repeatedly on the pleasure/relief you gain at every step
· Be consistent and repetitive.

Things You Cannot Do Anything About
Problems beyond our control can cause unnecessary worry. There can be no action, since the problem is beyond our capacity to influence, so why worry?

· I am going to die one day (perhaps today)
· A super-quake will snap California off into the Pacific
· An asteroid will strike the earth
· The sun will flame out, plunging the earth into darkness
· A tsunami will re-engulf Indonesia
· My family will perish in a freak accident
· I will become a victim of terrorists

Link big pain to unnecessary worrying
Link big pleasure to not worrying
Imagine the relief of not having to burden yourself with matters beyond your control. While you cannot fix the whole world, sometimes you can fix your little corner of it. Is your worry caused by junk input? You can, of course, take action on a smaller scale if you really have to:

· Move out of California
· Don't take your holidays in Jakarta
· Then again, why worry?

Overcoming worry is about confronting the worry itself, examining it dispassionately, then deleting it in a state of positive emotion with a change in focus. How about:

· A coward dies a thousand deaths, a brave man dies but one
· I can be brave. Why worry?
· Terrorism fails when I fail to be terrorised. Why worry?
· Have I actually experienced terrorism?
· Are my worries disproportionate to what actually happens to me?
· Am I reacting reasonably?
· Am I living, as far as possible, a blameless life?
· Why not clean up my input, which can foster unnecessary worry?
· Why not give my life meaning and context to explain why I am here in the first place?
· If I live my life well, my journey's end will be expected, even welcomed

Remember: Worriers perfect the art of imagining how things will turn out for the worst. Non-worriers take prudent action to expect the worst, then dwell in the expectation that something good will happen.