Beware the Man-Eating Palm Trees
by Richard Littlejohn

"It's a bit like keeping tigers - they are beautiful to look at but you wouldn't want them wandering the streets."

That was the Torbay councillor Colin Charlwood talking, not about lions or crocodiles, but palm trees. He was defending the Council's decision to declare the English Riviera's famous palm trees a danger to the public.

Cllr Charlwood, a Liberal Democrat (now there's a surprise), explained: "What if one of those leaves caught a child in the eye for example?"

If you require any further evidence that those responsible for the "health and safety" racket are in the collective grip of advanced mental illness just consider that opening sentence. "It's a bit like keeping tigers." No it isn't, not even a little bit. Palm trees are not likely to roam the streets of Torbay attacking innocent holiday makers. Neither are tigers for that matter. You don't get a lot of tigers in Devon.

Perhaps Cllr Charlwood would care to consult the animal-tamer Roy Horn, of the famous Las Vegas double-act Seigfried and Roy, on the relative risks of tigers and palm trees.

Despite all the palm trees in Vegas, there is no recorded incident of anyone being savaged by or being hospitalised by a frond related injury. It was a tiger which mauled Roy, almost killing him.

Why do we allow these deranged "health and safety" obsessives to rule our lives?

Cllr Charlwood clearly belongs in a padded cell wearing a jacket which does up at the back, along with the rest of the "health and safety" nazis.

After all, you wouldn't want them wandering the streets.
Daily Mail, 13th June 2006