In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli,
cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all
kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums.
And Satan said, "You want hot fudge with that?"
And Man said, "Yes!" And Woman said,
"I'll have one too with chocolate chips."
And lo and behold they gained 10 pounds.
Then God created the healthy yoghurt that Woman might
keep the figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the
cane and combined them.
And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side.
And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said "I have sent you healthy vegetables
and olive oil in which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped
lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter.
And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.
Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in
fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.
Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into
chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of
And Man put on more pounds.
God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children
might lose those extra pounds.
And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would
not have to toil changing the channels.
And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started
wearing stretch jogging suits.
Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer
calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonalds and the $1 double cheeseburger.
Then Satan said, "You want fries with that?" and Man
replied, "Yes, and super size 'em!"
And Satan said, "It is good."
And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Satan chuckled and created Medicare.
THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION
After an exhaustive review of the research literature:
1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer
attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and
heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and
suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what