‘The
voters have spoken, the bastards.’ – Richard Nixon
Some of us imprison ourselves daily with the
fear of the unknown, of wretched things that might befall us. Perhaps there’s a
situation we’ve watched develop for some time and its direst outcome now has us
jerking us awake in the wee hours, heart thumping, brow bursting forth in a
cold sweat.
Few of the
techniques described in Simple Changes work as well as the firm belief
the universe is generally working for your benefit if only you can get out of
the bed in the morning. Most of us own up to a sense that life appears to be
some sort of learning process, that there’s a point to it all. (Some don’t –
more about them later). Clad in our four-dimensional physicality, we have little
choice but to experience life. And regrettably we do live in a fallen
world wherein dire things happen all the time – wars, accidents, financial
woes, illness and death. And some of these will show up on our doorstep at some
point, unbidden, unwelcome, to be our choice in determining how best we will
deal with them.
I believe
in taking prudent, non-obsessive steps to prepare for the worst. I believe in
taking prudent, non-obsessive steps to do my best to prevent the worst. Having
thus taken action, what I won’t do is perish the death of a thousand
cuts, torturing myself over what might happen. Worrying implies the
steps I have taken will not be sufficient, therefore I worry, in spite of the
fact that having taken action, matters are now beyond my ability to control
them.
‘What if?’ That nagging voice. ‘What
if? What if?’
Worrying is a survival response to hone our reactions
to danger. Chronic worry corrupts our most precious resource - time.
Chronic worry is the result of the brain’s repetitive conditioning, but you’ll
be delighted to learn the old squashola can be educated back into conforming to
a more ‘damn-the-torpedoes’ attitude with a few simple techniques.
Facing
Your Mountains - Worry
Do not dwell on
impromptu, evil imaginings.
You can’t stop the birds flying over your head, you can stop ‘em nesting in
your hair. The best way over mountains is one rock at a time. The best advice
about mountains is to face them. Mountains cause worry, but not if you overcome
them. Be an overcomer.
Things
You Can Do Something About
Divide a sheet of
paper vertically down the middle with a line. On the left, write down all the
things that worry you which you CAN do something about. On the right, list the
things that worry you, which you CANNOT do anything about.
Rank the left-hand
column in descending order of bother, i.e. the most worrisome problem at the
top. Do the same with the right-hand column of worries you are powerless to do
anything about.
·
You are now
staring at your mountains
·
You have an
order of worries to tackle, commencing with the most worrying
·
Worry caused by
the problems you can do something about will diminish ONCE YOU TAKE ACTION
·
Imagine each
problem resolved and how you will feel
·
Imagine the
relief you will gain by overcoming
·
Dwell on the peace
of mind you will gain by overcoming
·
Imagine the
continued pain/anxiety of not overcoming
·
List out the
steps required to overcome the problem
·
How badly do
you want to conquer the problem?
·
Now take
action, focusing repeatedly on the relief you will gain at every step
·
Be consistent
and repetitive
Things
You Cannot Do Anything About
Problems beyond your
control cause unnecessary worry. There
can be no action, since the problem is beyond your capacity to influence it, so
why worry?
Yeah, but –
·
I’m going to
die one day (perhaps today)
·
A super-quake might
snap California off into the Pacific
·
An asteroid might
strike the Earth
·
The sun might
flame out, plunging the planet into darkness
·
A tsunami might
engulf Indonesia
·
My family might
perish in a freak accident
·
I might become
a victim of terrorists
Imagine the relief
of not having to burden yourself with matters beyond your control. While you
cannot fix the whole world, sometimes you can fix your little corner of it. Is
your worry caused by junk input? You can, of course, take action on a smaller
scale if you want to wimp out:
·
Move out of
California
·
Don’t take your
holidays in Jakarta
·
Then again, why
worry?
Overcoming worry is
about confronting the worry itself to see what the trigger process is,
examining it dispassionately, then deleting the trigger in a state of positive
emotion with a change in focus. In The Little Book of Attitude, I show
you how to do this. How about some mental preparation to begin with?
·
A coward dies a
thousand deaths, a brave man dies but one
·
I can be brave.
Why worry?
·
Terrorism fails
when I fail to be terrorised. Why worry?
·
Have I actually
experienced terrorism?
·
Are my worries
disproportionate to the things that actually happen to me?
·
Am I reacting
reasonably?
·
Am I living, as
far as possible, a blameless life?
·
Why don’t I
restrict input (esp. media), which fosters unnecessary worry?
·
Why not give my
life meaning and context to explain why I am here in the first place?
·
If I live my
life well, my journey’s end will be expected, even welcomed
Note: Worriers
perfect the art of imagining how things will turn out for the worst.
Non-worriers take prudent action to reduce a threat, then dwell in the
expectation something good is going to happen!
Resources:
Simple Changes:
Your 100 Ways to a Happier, Healthier Life by Phillip Day
The Little
Book of Attitude by Phillip Day
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store.